Id rather.

Bakit nga ba *Id Rather* ang title ko? It has been my favorite since I heard it. until now na applicable na siya sakin. Lalo na yung part na "And I finally found out this one thing is true, that im nothing without you. ." Cheesy! :D

Anyways. .

Its getting harder and harder each day talaga. .

Actually, I did a lot of things (activity) naman to tell, kaya lang it's sad na tinatamad ako mag post ng pictures. They happen to be great kaya lang mas gusto ko ata mag kwento about what i feel. I thought i won't make it this far since my debut, I had someone who was all-hurt. I missed this person kaya I always make it up to him, kaya lang everytime na magkakabati kami and I felt that he was not able to be like what he is before, kaya inaaway ko siya.

I didn't liked this vacation. Lot of things happen, good. .bad. .some caused me pain, some were okay naman.

I don't know where to start kasi, Marami akong plans for 12. Ayoko pang dumating sa point na yun kasi hindi ko alam exactly yung gagawin ko. I was like love-hate-love like what mama said. Pag wala siya hindi ko naman kaya, pag andiyan siya naiinis ako sa mga hindi niya nagagawa. Like he's not texting me that much unlike dati. .Almost pagligo, kain and cr lang ang break namin. But I understand naman na hindi lang "kami" ang priority and marami pang dapat gawin. Nangangapa din ako if he's still inlove or what. It seems like gumaganti siya sa what happened nga or kung hindi naman, ayaw na niya talaga :(

At first, gusto ko ng i-stop kasi I felt like were just wasting our time. I tried pero pag sa timang nga naman, hindi rin natiis. I know i need to grow up pa, mag mature so that walang nag su-suffer. Both of us.

He once told me that ako lang ang gumagawa ng bagay para saktan ang sarili ko. Couldn't it be possible na siya ang mag patigil? I don't want to admit my fault din. It's not pride kasi sa pagkakaalam ko what I did na pagtext after I told him na hindi na ko magtetext was a crap. Dahil ako mismo ang nakipag ayos. Psychotic diba :( Dati pag hindi ko sinasabi ang problem ko, pride ang problem. Ngayon na halos araw-araw ko ng sabihin ang nararamdaman ko kahit nakakahiya and I felt cheap and corny, tuloy parin. And he'd say ayan na naman ako. Where would I go? Parang wala akong option. As of now ayokong i-judge siya until hindi ko pa siya nakikita and nakakausap. I don't have any idea sa part niya. Maybe there was something, and kung ano man yun. It would be much okay than wala na talaga.

After all. .Flowers grow after rain :) Aja!